I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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