just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
