we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I had to cum in my sink.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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