im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
