5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Can I color on your dick again?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
