My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just took my morning after pill in the library
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
