So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
