the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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