haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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