i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize