i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
