If i come over, it means nothing
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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