You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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