"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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