I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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