i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
