Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
