Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
