She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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