there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
