so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
