Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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