How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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