I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
