Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
