? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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