I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
