She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
