bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
