if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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