Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
