All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
