I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
