Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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