she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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