Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I enjoy the company of your penis
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Never joke about your clitoris.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
