Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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