Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
