I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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