I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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