You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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