I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
