nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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