She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I didn't notice because vodka
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
