Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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