Quick, to the slutcave!
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
