why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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