you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
