Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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