Don't make out with my wife yet
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
