I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize