is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
