yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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