I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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