So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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