Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
The best revenge is premature balding
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
