I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
