Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
