Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We just shotgunned beers for America
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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