Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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