so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize