dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
