so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
