i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize