Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
