some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I AM VODKA MAN
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
