Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
