At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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