So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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